


Suddenly the World Seems Such a Perfect Place

by RookieSand



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Is this a meet-cute?, Modern AU, One Shot, edelgard is very very gay, i wrote this for one person specifically, im going to call it a meet-cute, strip club stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-13 16:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21497224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RookieSand/pseuds/RookieSand
Summary: Dorothea just had to drag Edelgard out to a strip club for her birthday. She didn't even want to go. But the girl dancing...
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 8
Kudos: 150





	Suddenly the World Seems Such a Perfect Place

"This is stupid," Edelgard mumbled as she sat in the back of the Uber with her friend, Dorothea. "I don't want to go." The car smelled like fries and it was making her a little bit nauseous. Well, that and the fact that Dorothea was taking her to a strip club for her birthday. 

"Come on, Edie," Dorothea said. "You had dinner, we did some shots, and you look sexy as hell. You are primed for this. Your ex broke up with you a week before your birthday." She leaned against Edelgard and ran her hand over her chest as she purred, "Let loose and admire the female body."

Edelgard shoved her off, crossed her arms and legs, and looked out the window with a sulky expression. It still stung a bit, being broken up with. Her relationship had been on the rocks for a while so it wasn't like she hadn't seen it coming. Still, the number of tears she'd cried already was embarrassingly large. Dorothea had been her sole comfort for the last couple of days, but Edelgard knew she couldn't comfort her forever. She'd have to stop crying about it. 

Dorothea rested her hand on Edelgard's thigh and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Hey, listen," she said softly. "I just want you to have a fun evening. We'll go and if you're not feeling it within the first ten minutes, we'll leave." She wrapped her arm around Edelgard's shoulders and pulled her into her side. She gave Edelgard a gentle kiss on the side of the head. "I'll even take you out for ice cream afterward. Does that sound okay?"

Edelgard sighed and leaned into her. "Fine. Ten minutes."

The club was pretty much dead when the girls arrived, which is what Edelgard had wanted. Her only stipulation to going had been that they would have to go right as it opened so they wouldn't be catching any of the later traffic. The lights were dim and loud music thumped through the entire place. Two bartenders were cleaning glasses as they got ready for the evening. There weren't even any dancers out yet, but the whole thing still made Edelgard uncomfortable. This was not her scene.

Edelgard shifted nervously. "I don't like this, Dorothea," she whispered. "Can we go?"

"You said ten minutes," Dorothea remarked. "Let's at least watch one dance. Otherwise, the entrance fee would be a waste."

Edelgard sighed. Dorothea knew how much she hated wasting money. And the entrance fee had been more than a pretty penny. "Fine... I did say ten minutes..."

A waiter brushed past them, a tray of drinks balanced delicately in his hand. He smiled and gestured to the stage on the far side of the room. "The first dance of the evening will be starting over on stage two," he said. "Our bar is also ready if that suits your fancy." He didn't wait for a response before taking off towards the stage where several men were already sitting.

"Your dance awaits on stage two," Dorothea said as she pushed Edelgard towards the stage. Edelgard dragged her feet the whole way grumbling about how this was the worst thing Dorothea had ever done to her. Dorothea shoved her into a seat a short distance away from the stage.

It only took a moment for the music to change into something much more upbeat and poppy. A girl walked briskly down the stage, waving and blowing kisses at the few people that had come to watch. Her long, pink hair was pulled into twin tails and flowed elegantly behind her as she walked. Her crop top sweater had sheer material on the arms and shoulders and sat just above her belly button, leaving a lot to be desired. Other than her shirt she was only wearing boyshorts and chunky high tops. She was practically glowing up on stage. She spotted the two girls sitting and blew them a kiss as well.

Edelgard's heart was pounding as she watched the girl begin her dance. She was absolutely captivated. She had never seen anybody move their body and show off their strength like this before. This girl had so much bright energy; and, even though only about ten people were watching, she performed like she was in a crowd of thousands. Edelgard was practically on the edge of her seat the entire time.

The song ended and the girl did a slight bow and waved at everyone again. Edelgard was positive the girl made direct eye contact with her, licked her lips, winked, then turned back to the pole.

Edelgard slapped Dorothea hard in the arm without taking her eyes off the girl. "Dorothea... Dorothea." Her face was on fire and she was sweating. "Did she just wink at me?"

"Ow," Dorothea grumbled. She rubbed her arm and frowned. "I think you're just gay."

"Wow..." Edelgard hadn't even heard what Dorothea said. Her nails were digging deeply into her thighs. She didn't think she was going to get that aroused by a simple dance and yet there she was. She wondered what the girl would look like with a little less clothing on... 

"Go tip her if you liked it that much. Jesus, you're practically salivating."

Edelgard looked over at her in shock, her thoughts being jerked back into the real world. "Wh-What? What if she makes me do something weird like put it in her underwear?" she whispered uncertainly.

Dorothea snorted and rolled her eyes. "Then do it. If you're going to masturbate to her later, she deserves the tip. Now, go." She shoved Edelgard to her feet and pushed her towards the stage. "Go."

Edelgard could barely think over the sound of her heart beating. She approached the stage as if she were approaching a wild animal. The girl was currently rubbing down the pole in a rather sensual manner. She was probably getting ready to start her next dance soon. As Edelgard got closer to the stage, she could see all the body glitter that the girl was wearing mixed with her sweat. So that was why she had been so sparkly on stage. The whole thing was incredibly attractive.

"E-Excuse me," Edelgard said awkwardly. Her voice broke at the end and she silently prayed someone would kill her on the spot.

The girl looked up and bounced over to the edge of the stage. She squatted down and leaned forward, giving Edelgard a very good look at her cleavage. "Hello, cutie. What can I do for you?"

Edelgard froze for a moment. She wasn't expecting to have a conversation. She hadn't thought of what to say. A thousand things went through her mind until she remembered what she'd gone up to do. With a shaking hand, she pulled a ten-dollar bill out of her pocket and held it out. "For-For you. Um... You... danced good."

The girl took the money with a bright smile. "Oh, thank you, cutie! You must've really enjoyed the show." She looked Edelgard up and down, biting her lip a bit. "You're actually super adorable. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Y-You too," Edelgard said. Her eyes widened and she turned away. She could hear the girl giggling as she stiffly went back to her seat.

"How did it go?" Dorothea asked once Edelgard returned. She was leaned back in her chair with a drink in her hand now.

Edelgard buried her face in her hands. "I said, 'you too,' when she said to enjoy my evening."

"Oh, she is going to milk every cent out of you," Dorothea muttered as she took a swig of her drink. She gently patted Edelgard on the back.

Edelgard laid in bed staring at the ceiling. She couldn't get that girl off of her mind. She and Dorothea had only stayed to watch one more dance. As they were slowly getting ready to leave, the girl had come around the room and given Edelgard a lapdance. The girl had been giggling and flirting the entire time and Edelgard was pretty sure she'd lost consciousness for a brief moment. Dorothea had been no help at all and egged the girl on, telling her exactly what dirty talk Edelgard liked to hear. Edelgard had never had such a mixture of embarrassment and arousal ever in her life. She could barely stand when they actually got up to leave and she was uncomfortably wet the entire way home.

After Dorothea dropped her off at home, she took a cold shower, ate leftover spaghetti, and climbed into bed. She felt like she'd been hit by a bus and then kicked down the road. She didn't even know she could feel so exhausted watching someone else dance. She was too tired to move but her mind was too active to let her sleep. She sighed. She didn't even know the girl's name.

Several days later Dorothea took Edelgard out to the mall. Dorothea had some extra money that she wanted to burn on some new clothes. She had only invited Edelgard out just so she would leave her apartment. Edelgard been editing a spread for a magazine and had barely taken care of herself for forty-eight hours. That's what she got for going out on her birthday. It had, however, put a little bit of a damper on her mental health. It felt nice to get out of the house again.

Edelgard slurped the bubble tea that Dorothea had kindly bought for her and trailed the other girl through the mall. She was beyond tired and her steps were somewhat sluggish as she followed Dorothea from one store to the next. She wasn't too interested in shopping for herself and had been reduced to Dorothea's bag boy.

"Oh, El, can I borrow your phone?" Dorothea asked as the came to a stop outside of the dressing room of yet another store.

Edelgard nodded and handed her phone over. "What do you need it for?"

"Mine died and I need to take some photos."

"That's fine. Just don't leave nudes on it like last time, please."

Dorothea laughed and winked. "You're blessed, sweetie. I'm going to go try on these outfits. Want to watch?"

Edelgard shook her head. She had finished off her tea and was itching to get another one. "I think I'm going to go get more boba. I won't wander far. If we can't find each other, just meet by the playground."

Dorothea nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Stay safe." She pecked Edelgard on the cheek then skipped off. 

Edelgard made her way out into the mall. As she tried to recall what direction the tea shop was in, she wandered past a Victoria's Secret. She took several steps past it, stopped, and backtracked. The sign outside was advertising a fairly decent deal. She stood in the doorway weighing her options. On the one hand, she really hated going into Victoria's Secret, especially alone. On the other hand, all her sexier pairs of underwear had been ruined in one way or another and, if she was going to hop back into dating, she was going to need some new things. She sighed and went in.

She perused the store quickly not wanting to spend any more time in there than she absolutely had to. It took her a little while to pick out a couple of lacy bras that were practically seethrough. It's what she preferred as her somewhat flat chest didn't always win her many points and she liked the way it made her look. She gathered everything up and went up to checkout. She started digging through her bag for her wallet as she set all her things up on the counter.

"Good aftern—" The cashier stopped suddenly. "Oh my..."

Edelgard didn't know why that voice sounded familiar. She pulled her wallet out of her bag and looked at the cashier for the first time. Her face flushed brightly and her stomach dropped to her feet. It was the stripper. She looked just as beautiful as she had at the club and Edelgard was in love with the little bit of glitter on her cheeks. Edelgard's eyes drifted down to her nametag. Hilda. Her name was Hilda.

"Hey," Hilda said with a pleasant smile, "fancy seeing you here."

Edelgard couldn't speak for a moment. She took a mental inventory of what she looked like. She'd brushed her hair and put a hat on so that was a point in the not-looking-tragic category. She wasn't wearing any makeup and knew her eyes had dark circles under them so that was negative five points. Her outfit was comfortable but passed for clothing so plus a point. All in all, she definitely was not looking great. Finally, she said, "Y-Yeah."

"Just these for you today?" Hilda asked as she grabbed the bras.

Edelgard nodded slowly. She was mortified. How could Hilda be acting completely normal? She'd given her a lapdance and was now ringing up her underwear. That wasn't how normal interactions went. Edelgard's heart was pounding and she felt hot. Deep, burning embarrassment filled every inch of her body. Her entire face was probably as red as a tomato. Couldn't she just die? Of course, this girl worked at Victoria's Secret. Of. Fucking. Course.

"Alrighty, your total comes to 69.45," Hilda said as she started to bag up the underwear. Edelgard could've sworn she smirked when she'd said sixty-nine.

Edelgard nodded and fumbled her card out of her wallet. She missed the chip reader three times because her hand was shaking so badly. What she had hoped would be a simple trip to the store had turned into a public execution.

"So," Hilda said as they waited for the transaction to go through, "what brought you out to the club the other night? Don't get many women there as it's all women dancing."

Edelgard looked up from the reader with a look of horrified surprise. "Oh, my friend... took me out for my birthday."

"Well, happy belated birthday! I hope you had fun. I'd love to dance for you again. You tip too well." Hilda leaned forward a bit and Edelgard was able to look down her shirt. She batted her eyes. 

Edelgard nearly fainted on the spot. "Uh... Yeah. I had... a"—she coughed awkwardly—"good time..."

"I'm glad. You can pull it out now," Hilda said with a slight nod.

"Wh-What?"

"The card. It's done." Hilda pointed at the machine.

"Oh, sorry." Edelgard pulled the card out and the dinging noise stopped. 

Hilda passed Edelgard's bag over the counter. "Okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but I feel like fate doesn't give you triple chances. Can I give you my number? I just figured that this can't be coincidental that you just so happened to come to this store. I'll have to give you mine, though. No phones on the floor while we're working." She shrugged a bit and then looked at Edelgard expectantly.

Edelgard was dumbfounded for a moment. She was having a hard time processing what Hilda was asking for. Then it clicked. "Oh... Um... Yes. Let me just..." She patted her pockets frantically and her face blanched. "Dorothea has my phone," she whispered in horror.

"Dorothea?"

"Th-The girl I was with," Edelgard said, trying not to panic. Could nothing go right for her ever? "She borrowed my phone." 

Hilda laughed at Edelgard's desperate tone. "It's okay. Don't worry. We can go old school. Gimme your hand." Hilda searched around the counter for a moment and produced a pen.

Edelgard reached her hand across the counter. She was trying very hard to not show how shaky she was. Hilda gently took her hand and in slow curvy letters wrote her name and number down.

Hilda smiled brightly. "That should do it. Don't forget to text and don't let it wash off in the bathroom." She winked.

Edelgard just nodded in return unable to even think of a response. She took her bag and tried not to sprint out of the store. She was going to wring Dorothea's neck for taking her phone and then kiss her hard on the lips for giving her the opportunity to hold Hilda's hand.

> **Edelgard:** Hey! It's Edelgard. I mean, the girl at the club and at the store. The one you gave your number to. I don't know if you ever officially caught my name. Sorry about that. Usually, I'm better at introducing myself. Um, I'm Edelgard Hresvelg. 
> 
> **Hilda:** Hey! Edelgard is a super cute name! I love it. I'm Hilda Goneril, but you already knew that. How's your evening going? 

Edelgard closed her eyes tightly and clutched her phone to her chest. Hilda thought her name was cute.

> **Edelgard:** I'm just sitting at home watching Netflix.
> 
> **Hilda:** Haha anyone to chill with? 
> 
> **Edelgard:** Aha not tonight. I recently got dumped.
> 
> **Hilda:** Aw poor thing. But hey, their loss!! You got a lapdance from a sexy girl!!
> 
> **Edelgard:** Um!! Yeah!! How's your night going?
> 
> **Hilda:** Just got off work. Not dancing tonight so I might go out and do something else!
> 
> **Edelgard:** Oh, with friends?
> 
> **Hilda:** Not sure yet! Perhaps someone will want to hang. Sometimes my friends are total flakes. 

Edelgard bit her lip. Like Hilda had said, fate probably wasn't going to give her many more chances. She had to grow a pair and make the first move.

> **Edelgard:** Um... this might be weird but there's this like drive-in theater thing that is showing a movie tonight. It's only a couple dollars to get in. Would you want to go?
> 
> **Hilda:** I would love to!! You or me drive?
> 
> **Edelgard:** I asked you so I think it's fair that I drive.
> 
> **Hilda:** Sweet!! You can pick me up at the Starbucks near me. I'll buy us drinks! Just need to get changed at home first so we'll hash out the details then!
> 
> **Edelgard:** Sounds good!

Edelgard picked up Hilda at Starbucks. She had their drinks ready and had hopped excitedly into Edelgard's car. They headed over to the drive-in theater. Edelgard learned on the way that Hilda was a big flirt and she loved to talk about herself.

Hilda was actually quite wealthy. About a year ago, her father had severely diminished her funds and told her to figure out the value of a dollar or whatever. Hilda bounced around from a few jobs in food service and retail but ultimately nothing stuck. As it turned out, she hated working. She had ended up at the strip club because she took pole dancing classes for fun and exercise already. She figured she was hot enough and she could capitalize off of that. And did she ever, much to her father's dismay. Victoria's Secret was just for fun and she hardly worked there. Really, it was just Edelgard's luck that she had been there at all because she had picked up that shift. 

They made it to the movie and Edelgard parked the car. They sat in silence for a short while as they watched the movie. Hilda got bored rather quickly. She turned in her seat towards Edelgard and started to make more conversation. She was really good at talking.

As Hilda talked, Edelgard couldn't help but wonder if Hilda actually liked her or if this was an elaborate hustle. If it was a hustle, Edelgard had to give her props. She knew how to pick a target and suck it dry. Edelgard was barely able to keep herself in her seat with Hilda constantly giggling and touching her arm. But Hilda also seemed genuinely interested in Edelgard's life. Whenever she asked Edelgard a question she would lean against the seat and watch her carefully. She never interrupted and always had follow up questions to keep things moving.

As the credits rolled on the screen, and the two left the theater. Their date was going to come to an end. Edelgard felt her chest tighten. She really didn't want to leave Hilda yet.

"That was fun," Hilda said wistfully. "Um, this is awkward to ask... I know me being awkward, right? Um, but... I'd be interested in... going over to your place. If you want, of course, there is no reason to say yes."

Edelgard glanced at her, slightly confused. "Why would you come over to my place?"

Hilda blinked in surprise. She shifted awkwardly in her seat and stared straight ahead. "Well... um... I thought maybe... we could..."

The lightbulb finally clicked on in Edelgard's brain. "Oh! Oh... Um... Yeah! Yeah, if you're interested. Um. Yeah, that's fine."

Hilda let out a relieved sigh and clutched her chest. It was the first time Edelgard had ever seen her seem nervous. "Oh, thank God. I thought you were straight for a second there, oh God."

Edelgard shook her head. "Oh no! God, no. I like women."

Hilda laughed. "Oh, that would have been very awkward."

The sex was incredible. Edelgard wasn't sure if the thrill of having sex with an almost stranger made it better or if Hilda was just that good, but she'd never felt so amazing in her whole life. The two girls laid together in bed. Edelgard was holding Hilda tightly in her arms. They were both sweaty and had yet to fully calm down from their romp. 

Hilda had her head tucked up underneath Edelgard's chin. "That was fun," she murmured. "That'll be one thousand dollars."

Edelgard's grip on her tightened and the color left her face. "What?"

Hilda sat up and looked down at her. "One does not simply get to put their fingers in this pussy for free," she said with a frown. "What do you think I am?"

"I-I..." Edelgard noticed Hilda's face cracking into a smile. "Oh my god, you're lying! You bitch!" She shoved Hilda off her and pinned her down on the bed. 

Hilda was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Your face was priceless though." She looped her arms around Edelgard's neck as she settled down again. "You can have sex with me for free as much as you'd like." She giggled again as Edelgard blushed. Her smile faded fairly quickly, however. She looked away. "Um, I know I'm, like, your rebound right now... I understand and that's fine. But... I think I do really like you. So if it doesn't work out and I'm just the rebound, can you let me down gently?"

Edelgard laughed. "Yeah... I think I can do that. I don't think you should worry, though. I... like you too." She leaned down and kissed Hilda again. 


End file.
